my first New Year’s wish

Dear God tonight..

 i dont know.. i just feel so much hurt.. my heart feels broke and still damn sad.. i know it was only almost 4 months exactly, but deep inside.. i just feel like i was cheated and stabbed deeply.. that bad moment has been through almost 1 month, but i cant still forget the pain of that betrayel..

God.. please… I would never ask you to ease this pain. all i want is please make me double, triple, even multiple stronger to deal with this.. look at me, God i feel so stupid.. and shame on me.. can’t handle this very well then i got so much drunk that night with my friends.. and now i dnt know how to explain this to you… but please.. you’re my only hope.. i know. i am not a good servant for you, but deep inside i know You know that I never doubt You..

 God.. i cant sleep now.. cuz.. my heart still feels the pain clearly.. my tears would fall.. but i try so hard to halt them out.. Please… show me your power.. forgive my weaknes.. please.. please. i would never ask you to make him back for me.. no.. no.. i just want You to make me forget the feeling toward him.. 

God… only You whom knows what i feel now.. Please .. on my bended knee.. grant my wishes… 😥 i am dying now…